Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
