I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
