Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
