Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
