He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
