I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
