I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
