No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
