no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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