He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
