I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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