youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
