for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
