we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
