shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
