i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
