would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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