I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
