u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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