She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
