bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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