Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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