The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
