I wanna passion pit in your ass
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
