are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
