I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
