the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Panties = found
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
