he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
love makes seman taste better
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
