I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it's great music for shaving your balls
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
