He kissed a someone with a penis
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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