There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Farmville is her only friend.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
