Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
