So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
