honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
