Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
