You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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