I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
