Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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