i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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