shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
