You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
