you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
