nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
