his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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