Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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