I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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