Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
