Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
