I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
