I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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