Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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