she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
