Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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