im six kinds of drunk right now
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
