You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
